Before myself in the ballet world, I wouldfirst

Before I begin this quest of analysis of myself in the ballet world, I wouldfirst like to ask a question. Do you believe that it's possible for someone to detest themselves so much in a specific genre of dance that they are almost willing to give up completely? I am having serious issues with ballet as an art form, an expressive tool, or what have you, and I think you'll notice this when I critique myself.
Based on what I have seen through watching the video in class ballet and me do not mix.I may have wonderful phrasing, but that to me doesn't cover the inability to do ballet period. On flat, for crying out loud, my turn out looked nonexistent as well as my ability to point my feet. Rotation has always been an issue for me and I feel as though it will be forever no matter how hard I work. On the emboités as well as my grand tours proved this statement. My knees mine as well have been parallel. On the grand jete en tournant, my back leg should have been sustained more, my beats in the assemble were not as clear as I had hoped, and none of my passes reached full potential- not even in the pique turns. My pirouettes were awful because I wasn't turning out my passé-ing leg enough and I wasn't lifted as much as I should have been in order to complete the turn successfully. In the face of all this, however, the positive aspects of this combination was that I hit all the landmarks and directional qualities as well as staying true to the phrasing.
The second time around on pointe as I am watching myself, I realize that my midterm practicum was thefirst time I performed this combination on pointe. The day we practiced in class I had a bad ankle ( I think I still do, we should talk about this). On the second set of emboites I was definitely behind on the music because I am now realizing that it takes more work to get off the floor, and during the soutenu turn I realized it takes less work. Ther…